I Need a Vacation

I’ve decided I need a vacation……..it has been at least 18 months since I took one and I think I am long overdue……..However, I don’t have the money or the time. My husband and kids took a vacation last April. I couldn’t go with them because it was the week before the opening of a show I was in. So I stayed home. Wait a minute.
That was a vacation now that I think about it. I even recall sleeping in past 7am one day. Also…..I was kind of glad I couldn’t go because the van broke down in Las Vegas. I don’t think anyone got anything good out of that trip…..well….except me maybe. I was home……by myself…….not cleaning……not cooking……I was painting my dining room though. I considered that fun. Yikes….. I do need a vacation.

When you work from home you are……ALWAYS at work. Even if I am not working on my business…..I am working. There is housework……errands…….pets……phone calls…..cab driver for the kids……cooking…….etc…..

I have actually considered checking into a hotel for the night. I thought how great it would be to have nothing else to do but sleep and watch television. It’s kinda crazy when sleeping seems like a vacation…...isn’t it?

There is a Troll in my house........

So……my husband has this parrot……and she is evil. I have tried so hard to be her friend, but she sees me as “the other woman” and well……..she fights for her man. She has taken off my fingernails and bloodied my toes among other things. She technically cannot be considered a “pet”. Pets don’t generally maim the people they live with. No one but my husband can even (pet) her.
She is actually the “Troll of our house”……yes I said, troll. Trolls like to live under bridges and guard the passage. They are usually small, ugly and dangerous! Describes “her” exactly! Her name is “Congo” because she is an African Grey Parrot from the Congo.
So Congo is a “Troll”……she doesn’t allow anyone in the bathroom or she won’t let me come in my own bedroom if she is in there with him. Whenever someone walks down the stairs she flies over to the banister and glares at them as they go down. When she flies through the house you hear everyone scream and duck. I have actually fallen off the couch trying to get away from her. One time she landed on my head and proceeded to try to pick my brain out of my head!
She is an “Evil Troll”…..I tell you!
She is like an “anti-pet”. The worst part is….she will probably outlive me.

I would hate to be the person my husband appoints as the next owner in his will! I already told him, if he goes before me Congo is going with him dead or alive….

She might be only a bird, but she is like a 3 year old with a sharp object and a vengeance toward anyone who isn’t my husband.
Anybody want a troll????