We Both Like Brown Leather........that's where it stopped.......

So my husband and I decided to go look at furniture tonight. Ummmmm? Well......that was dumb. What was I thinking........?

For some stupid reason I thought we had similar taste......we both want brown leather living room furniture......yeah.....easy right? WRONG! He likes the over stuffed comfortable.....sloppy......stuff and I want something that looks like it could be in a portrait studio. Duh! I'm a photographer. What does he expect? So I keep pushing him to look at furniture that is middle of the road right? Something that will please us both. WELL.....he, definitely KNOWS what he wants.

I hardly spend ANY time in front of the T.V...... so of course comfort really isn't my first issue. I just bought a really great computer chair that is actually the one I am sitting in right now......this is where I am. My blog is my therapy......right? So I'm blogging this..... very frustrating turn of events.

So anyway, the sales lady laughed at us for about an hour. I kept turning around to her and making ridiculous faces when he would select something that looked like giant sloppy pillows. Then we came to the 3 piece set that was enormous, sloppy, and EVERY SINGLE PIECE RECLINED! I turned to her in horror .......rolled my eyes and said, "I don't think he and I are on the same page here!" She laughed. What else could she do.......this was her last hour of work and if she wasn't going to make a sale at least we were very entertaining for her.......

My husband had my 10 year old son on his side too! At one point he actually said, (and this is a direct quote) "Don't listen to the woman, she doesn't know what she's talking about." I was horrified! He was talking to the sales lady about ME! I thought I was going to die right there........I looked at my husband and he is laughing.......I said, "What in the world? I think it's time for separate houses dear. You take the boy here and well,........... just take all the kids. I'll take my dog and go find a nice studio apartment."
So at that point he gives me (the look)........I smile and of course we just don't buy anything. Wow. Who would have thought? Usually I'm pretty easy going about these kind of things........well I was when I was on Prozac.....but I went off of that a couple years ago. The real me is back. hahahaha
The one that has an opinion.

I think... what this all boils down to is .......I just want a photography studio again. At least that is what the therapist in me says. So I will probably soften and he will just get something comfortable and I will still be sitting here in the office at my computer........retouching photos and blogging. .........

How do you use a cell phone?........Are you kidding me?

So........I decided to start using my cell phone as my alarm clock. I gave away my "real" alarm clock to my daughter who doesn't flinch from her slumber when I yell in full volume to get her up in the morning. For some reason I thought, "My alarm clock is loud enough to wake her!" So I gave it to her. It didn't wake her up.......but I'm still using my cell phone to wake me up.

It is kind of crazy though how much we use the things........ So it wakes me up in the morning and then I dial my daughter's number right from my bed to get her up. Of course, she answers it........because......it's her "phone" and not the alarm clock. So I have now figured out that I can take full advantage of my kid's addiction to the wretched devices. They seem to even hear them easily when they have them set to vibrate. It's crazy! I've never seen anything like it.

My daughter will be sitting somewhere and suddenly jumps up frantically! She starts looking around and sees her phone on the kitchen counter. She grabs it and pops it open and starts to read…….then texts something back.
I say, “How in the world did you know?” She says, “I just felt it.” (Are you kidding me?) How can anyone be so tuned in to an electronic device. It’s like part of her being. As a matter of fact……her first cell phone had an untimely death. She dropped it on the stairs at school and it busted. She was beside herself. She insisted we go straight to the phone store to get another. Luckily she was able to get a replacement pretty cheap. The same phone and all…..however she had to turn over the old phone to get the new one and tried to convince the sales lady to let her keep it so she could have a funeral and bury it! (Are you kidding me?) ….I say that a lot these days. I’m kind of freaking out over the whole thing and just laugh it all off,……….but she was serious.

So, now when we want them to come sit down for dinner, we just call them on their cell phone. It's time for bed.......you got it......call the cell.

If they skip a class at school......take away the cell phone. Apparently that is like the absolutely worst thing you could do to them. One kid whined....could you please just cut off my right hand, it would be less painful. Ummmm? no...sorry can't do that. Give me your phone. AAAAhhhhh! They scream in horror.

My kids are addicted to texting as well......
Don't get me started............I'm soooooooooo slow. I actually had an argument with one of my kids via “text messaging”. I can’t begin to tell you the frustration that caused my tiny mind. It’s the whole passive/aggressive facet of this type of communication.
Here is a scenario: Kid text: “Going out with my friends after school” Mom text: “No, come home” I get no text back…..so…..I call. No answer. I’m suddenly angry. Mom text: “Where are you? Come home” Nothing. I get nothing.
2 hours later…….Kid text: “On my way home” Mom text: “Call me” Kid text: “Why?” ……..OMgahhhhhhhhhhhhhsh! I am about to blow a gasket. Mom text: “Call me NOW!”
Phone call: Kid: “What’s the matter mom?” Mom: “I text ed you to come home.” Kid: “I didn’t get any text from you.” Mom: “Are you kidding me?” I’ve been trying to reach you for the last 2 hours!” Kid: “Well, I didn’t receive any of your text messages or calls. I must have been in an area where I got no signal.”

At this point, I simply give up because how can you argue with that. It drives me insane, so now we’ve changed the rules. They have to CALL and actually speak with me on the phone before they DO ANYTHING! OK…….I’m calm now.
I hate cell phones….sometimes……..BUT……I still use one.

Yikes. Just shoot me.

Gross Things that happen to me.......No.1

So........I think I have more gross things happen to me than the average person. (Except for maybe a mom with a newborn.) There are the regular gross things that mom's endure.....like, kids wiping stuff on you when you're not looking or potty training. I have other gross things that seem to plague me.........

One morning I got my cup of coffee and just as I was taking a sip....I noticed something on the floor. I couldn't really tell what it was because I didn't put on my glasses when I got out of bed. It was blurry and I reached down to pick it up. When I got it CLOSE enough to my face to actually see what it was.......I realized......it was........A MOUSEHEAD! So.....it took me a second to register that this was a REAL mousehead and not a fake one. My son has gross rubber objects he sometimes plays with.....I don't know why......it must be a boy thing. Anyway, I screamed and threw it down and immediately went to find the cat. "Bad kitty" .....I said, "Next time eat the head too, you picky little thing!"

That was only gross thing Number ONE......there are more.

To sleep.... to dream......

Sleeping in an upright position is.....well, an art form I simply haven't mastered. You know how I can't stand wasting my time sleeping?....Well, apparently my brain has different plans for my body. I'm a photographer and spend many an hour retouching photos at my computer.......my husband works from home as well and we share an office. (He is a software designer and needs silence.) Our desks are set up back to back.

The other day I'm retouching photos and he is "talking on the phone" LOUDLY. He is loud. (I think he feels he needs to talk loud because the other person is in another state.) So, I have an icepack on my "recently adjusted by the chiropractor neck" (you would think a cold pack would keep me awake) and I'm feeling my eyes close like....every 2 seconds. So..........I lean my head back in the chair and within minutes I wake myself up snoring! HELLO? What in the world? I thought I didn't need sleep. It turns out 5 hours a night is not enough. I am devastated to be brought back to earth by my need for mortal sleep.
Meanwhile.......my husband is trying not to laugh. He happens to think it is hilarious because he constantly tells me I need to get more sleep. He LOVES being RIGHT. Yikes. So my goal is to TRY to go to bed sometime before Midnight. We'll see. Maybe I'll just get better at sleeping at my computer without anyone knowing it........hmmmm? Maybe not.

This Old Life....

I was told by one of my kids this weekend that I'm older than dirt......hahahaha.....ya....I'm still laughing. (Why do these people live in my house?) I don't feel old and some people even tell me they are surprised when they find out my age. They usually think I'm older. Just kidding. They usually think I am about 35......so I kind of like that.
My husband works out far more than I do......but I eat way less than he does. I also eat healthier. I don't sleep much....my average night's rest is about 5 hours. First one up last one to bed. I once was asked if I was a morning person or a night person.....hmmm?
I think I'm a double ended candle burner.....yup.......if I could give up eating and sleeping I would do it. Those two things take up my time and according to the younger people I happen to live with......I apparently have one foot in the grave.
My daily theme? I can sleep when I'm dead ......in the meantime, I take a lot of green tea capsules.

I have a list.......Things I want to do before I die. I think I'm on number 14. I'm going to keep going, I'm brave like that. I'm not sure what I will do if I finish the list before I'm gone. Hmmmm? ........
Probably come up with a new one........

Never Boring.....

My life.......it sometimes isn't what I want it to be...but.....it is never boring! I have 4 TEENAGE GIRLS. I'm glad I have one 10 year old son.....he saves me from THEM! Sometimes I go into his room and we watch cartoons together on his bed. I told him...."If anyone comes in looking for me...please steer them away and hide me....dude......ok?" He agrees with me because he knows that he gets me all to himself as long as no one can find me. Smart boy.....because I am fun and he knows it. So I hear someone come in and the covers go over my head! He answers like a pro, "I don't see her, do you?."
Good boy.............

I love my son.